11.24.09 SHOCK THE MONKEY

Low-intensity shockwaves can trigger the growth of new blood vessels, and about 80% of erectile dysfunction cases are caused by cardiovascular problems (the other 20% are caused by The View . . . allegedly). Yoram Vardi considered these findings, and decided it would be a capital idea to shoot shockwaves at somebody else’s junk. And he got twenty volunteers. This dude’s a pimp.
Amazingly, it wasn’t just an elaborate prank on those twenty guys. Fifteen of them showed a statistically significant improvement that held up [heh heh] for at least three months.
“These are very, very low energy shock waves,” Vardi said. Each shockwave applied roughly 100 bar of pressure — some 20 times the air pressure in a bottle of champagne, but less than the pressure exerted by a woman in stiletto heels who weighs 132 lbs. (60 kg). [Ed.- Well, that was a precise visual, Yoram.]
“This sort of energy is completely different from what you would get in a massage, although everyone can do what they want,” Vardi said. [MSNBC]
You’re damn right we can do want we want with our “massages”. You know how hard difficult it is to find someone in stiletto heels who weighs precisely 132 pounds? And the looks you get when you walk into a gangbang with a bathroom scale and a bag of shoes? Oh, sure, I’m the perv here. That’s awfully big talk for a bunch of guys wearing Nixon masks.

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I always give myself massages.
They all have fappy endings.