KING CRAB ATTACK!
01.28.10
I could tell you about the Apple iPad. Bloviate endlessly on the features every other site is also copy-pasting and call it a game changer that signals the death of the netbook, et cetera. Or . . . I could post two trailers for King Crab Attack!, a retro French short film about genetically-engineered giant crabs attacking a peaceful beachfront community. Yeah, you know how we do.
Transgenic giant crabs attack the beaches of Trouville. The evil Raymond Santos, owner of a nearby processing plant, seeks to increase his company’s profitability by mucking about with the genetic structure of ordinary crabs, which proceed to do what all good self-respecting critters do in those circumstances: they grow to an enormous size and go on a rampage of destruction. They are uncontrollable. Basile Garaud, a member of the coastguard, conducts an investigation into the matter. [QuietEarth]
Grégoire Sivan directs and Jean-Pierre Martins (La Vie en Rose) stars. Also, there are giant crabs. Take a good hard look at them.




![[image]](http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ironsky-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tor-sci-fi-art-history-10-Dave-Seeley-starwars-pieta-150x150.jpg)
I’m not gonna watch these trailers yet. I will watch them when I get my iPad. I’m meta like that.
The iPad is a flop. An embarrassment. You heard it here most recently because you’re reading this.
I thought only hippies had crabs that big!
You’ve not met my ex, D…
She had lobsters.
Giant enemy crabs!!! Attack their weak points for massive damage.