SUPERMAN 4 COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE
01.07.10
If you thought 1987′s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was the X-Men 3 of Superman movies, you’re more right than you realized*. Unreality found these two insanely-bad deleted scenes. How bad? They turned Bizarro Superman (“Nuclear Man #2″) into a fleshy dude with a spikey mullet who looks like a castmember of Everybody Loves Raymond, or like Larry the Cable Guy back when he was just Dan Whitney. I’m not intimidated by this Bizarro Superman; I want to sell him a bootleg Member’s Only jacket. Also watch for Jon Cryer phoning it in (probably while thinking, “I was Duckie, you bastards”) and a fight scene that makes sure you know about Burger King. And the sound effects. Holy crap, the sound effects. Nothing says action flick like a guy noodling on a toy piano while three different CDs of “The 101 Wackiest Sound Effects” play simultaneously in the background. I haven’t heard a cacophony like this since the last time I kicked a one man band down a hill.
* Superman Returns is the Spider-Man 3 of Superman movies, if you were wondering.
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Christopher Reeve would be rolling in his grave if he knew these things were made public. That is, he would be rolling if there were room for his wheel chair in the casket.
Too soon?
Swissgar Svensson, taller than a tree. Bizarro Superman, not a bumblebee.
This guy seriously looks like some sort of bad Yngwie Malmsteen impersonator.
What? You mention one man bands and don’t have a pic of Joel in his Ripley inspired getup?
I met Jon Cryer in 1986 in Charlottesville, VA where he was filming Morgan Stewart’s Coming Home and I thought he was a giant faggot. And I was 9. I gotta tell you, I’m high fiving my nine year old self.
Was I the only one waiting for a rendition of Puttin’ On the Ritz, in the first clip?
wow (boing!) this fucking (slide whistle) sucks (dum de dum ding!)
Holy Shit, I think my eyes and ears are bleeding…several times I thought it was a cleverly edited spoof, really really aweful…and how about Bizarro Supermans theme music, sounds like a barney theme song reject…
That gave me a headache
Is…is…that a bedpan on his dong? Like…what the fuck is that metal plate?
these people should be killed for the shit they were feeding us.whats so hard about going by the book.i could write a better supes script.
Yeah, those clips are really stupid, but I kinda think the music and sound effects are not the ones that would have been used for the actual release.