I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I meant how do I get a job studying binge drinking monkeys or being a binge drinking monkey.   Lucky scientists at the Scripps Research Institute are getting adolescent male macaque monkeys drunk and studying their brain development in what I hope turns into one of many times we use the “DRINKING MONKEY” tag on a post.

The results showed that the binge drinking monkeys had a dramatic and persistent decrease in stem cells in the hippocampus region and decreased neurogenesis (development of new neurons). The number of several types of actively dividing stem cells was reduced by 80 to 90 percent in the drinking monkeys compared to the controls, and there was also an increase in neural degeneration, or brain cell death.
Earlier studies on rodents have shown similar effects, but monkeys are much more like humans in brain structure, especially in the hippocampus, and in their longer period of adolescence. They are also often happy to voluntarily drink to intoxication. [Physorg]

However, they’re probably not happy about having their brains dissected in a bid to teach teenagers the dangers of drinking and possibly explain why drunks tend to have deficits in their hippocampus.  Aww, now I’m sad.  I’ve changed my mind about wanting that job.  I want to be friends with the drinking monkey, not dissect him, even though I’m going to sorely miss the opportunity to not get fired for yelling, “Look at macaque!”