Pictured: not Captain Caveman.

Wired recently spoke to Alan Moore on the phone (I’m imagining Moore talking to them on a Mickey Mouse phone because this pleases me).  Not surprisingly, Moore and DC are still feuding.  In this phone call, the topic turned from Moore’s multimedia spoken-word box set Unearthing (releases August 9th from Lex Records) to the old argument over Watchmen rights:

“They offered me the rights to Watchmen back, if I would agree to some dopey prequels and sequels” [...] “So I just told them that if they said that 10 years ago, when I asked them for that, then yeah it might have worked,” he said. “But these days I don’t want Watchmen back. Certainly, I don’t want it back under those kinds of terms.”

Cajones.  He has them.  He also told Wired he doesn’t keep a copy of Watchmen in his house anymore.  (Not even to keep a table from wobbling?)  When asked about the San Diego Comic Con happening now, Moore said, “I’m pretty much out of comics now. I really want nothing to do with it. So yeah, the comics conventions are right out.”

This is a total bummer, but I can see his point.  If it makes him feel better, we’ll take the rights to Watchmen off DC’s hands and write some dopey prequels and sequels for them.  I can’t guarantee they won’t be slash fiction.  I can guarantee, even with all the slash fiction, that there will still be less blue penis than the movie.