FIRST PICTURE: “Listen, I’m not going to lie to you. I really need some of this old-book-meets-whatever money.” — Chip Zdarsky

SECOND PICTURE: Calvin and Hobbes was Inception before Inception was Inception. Whoa.  We have to go deeper. [via Reddit]

David Dees: Conspiracy Theory Meets Art, Courtesy of the Internet [Uproxx]

Teeth: The Other Vital Weapon [Uproxx]

Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell on Between Two Ferns  [TheSmokingSection]

Basil Marceauxdotcom wants to be your governor [WarmingGlow]

James Cameron and Guillermo Del Toro ride are double teaming Lovecraft [Filmdrunk]

Chris Kaman explodes $10,000 worth of fireworks [WithLeather]

40 Comics that Should be TV Shows but Aren’t [UGO]

Bulldog and Tortoise eat Cheerios together [Urlesque]

Ten Movies You’d Have to Be A Serious Douchebag to Hate [Pajiba]

Debbie Gibson and Tiffany catfight for a SyFy original movie (video) [Gunaxin]

An infographic about sex [TheSmokingJacket]

A disturbing gallery of Human Centipede stuff [Unreality]

Ten Most Invasive Surgeries on Adult Swim [AdultSwim]

“Father of the year candidate stops to snap pictures before taking daughter to the hospital after she is bitten by a barracuda. With pic that says it all” [Fark]

VIDEO BELOW: A “big fan” asks Joss Whedon who his favorite actor is [via Buzzfeed]