I always thought a good prank was that time I called my friend’s cell from work and had an intern pretend she was calling from the doctor’s office to let him know that he had tested positive for chlamydia. Ha, good times. Well, I thought that was pretty funny up until Portland local news station KATU2 reported their latest breaking story: some hipster-prankster (the worst kind) decided to drop some Mario Kart-inspired graffiti along a patch of busy bike lanes. I’ll leave the details to the Bullwinkle J. Moose new anchor, you see above, but it’s truly a gift just watching this guy fight his way through Nintendo dialogue, all the while appearing completely obvious that he has no idea what he is talking about. Brave soldier, I salute you.

“Bananas, mushrooms, stars…one of Portland’s bike lanes now looks more like a racetrack on Nintendo’s Mario Kart [deep inhale] This is happening on North Williams Avenue…there’s uh, a set of…speed boosting arrows like this, there’s also a couple of bananas [awkward pause] in the game they make you spin out…also a mushroom gives you a speed boost and a star, that of course, makes you invincible. It’s unclear who did this, or WHY?!? Or if the city plans to remove all those symbols.”

Your move, English language. Final score: Portland News Anchors: 1, Nintendo Grammar: 0.

Video after the jump.

Special thanks to Urlesque for the tip.