We have one more Prometheus featurette to add to the enormous pile from yesterday. In this one, Charlize Theron’s character, Weyland-Yutani Corporation executive Meridith Vickers, gets to use a flamethrower on a scientist who tries to step up. Yeah, we’re posting that.

So far, all we knew about Theron’s character is that she’s the Carter J. Burke in this and she seems to enjoy doing pushups in ace bandage underwear. Did you stop reading and play the first video after seeing “ace bandage underwear”? Fair enough. If you are still reading, the revolution starts tonight we also have a second video below, in which Charlize Theron and others (Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Stewart, and Sam Claflin) read saucy excerpts from Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m including it here because Theron nailed it.

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Six Movie Bars Where I’d Like to Order a Drink |Unreality|

Kristen Wiig’s 15 Funniest ‘SNL’ Moments |HuffPost Comedy|

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Everything You Need To Know About The Clint Eastwood Reality Show |Buzzfeed|

VIDEO BELOW: Jabo0ody Dubs greatly improve the “Ba’Noodle” infomercial (NSFW audio) |via TDW|

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Neil Gaiman addressed the graduating class of 2012 at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia last Thursday, and the video is now online so we can glean the wisdom all those other suckers had to pay $34,840 per year to hear. Wait, hold up. $34,840 per year for an arts degree? Ha ha ha ha oh wow. And to think I went to the college which gave me free room and board, studied something unrelated to painting or writing, and yet still started a freelance painting career during college and make most of my income now off of freelance writing at home, wearing vodka-stained sweatpants. In your face, $140K college degrees. I’m living the dream.

But enough negativity. Let’s focus on something positive, such as how awesome Neil Gaiman is.

I gave my first ever commencement speech to the graduating class of 2012 at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. I think I told them everything important that I knew about going out into the world and being an artist, so I may never need to give another one. [Neil Gaiman]

The video, along with several of our favorite quotes, is below.

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Did you think we were done with being snarky about movies based on board games? We aren’t, so of course we’ll point out that The Avengers was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, grossing $55M in its third week to Battleship‘s disappointing $25.3M opening. Both movies had similar budgets. Somewhere, Taylor Kitsch should really be smacking his agent. The dude has potential, but he’s only had one movie score above 50% on Rotten Tomatoes (John Carter at 52%).

But that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to read every line of dialogue Rihanna utters in Battleship. Because if you’re going to stuntcast a pop star, you’ll at least give them some memorable lines, right? Yeah, about that . . .

Rihanna’s film debut is a memorable one. The Barbadian singer is wet for much of Battleship, her Navy uniform is uncommonly flattering, and the majority of her dialogue is composed of exclamations. It’s a veritable master class in one-line utterances. Most of her lines fall into one of several categories: sassy (“Get up, princess!”), confused (“What the hell is that?”) or surprisingly competent (“Contact two miles out.”) [Vulture]

She had a total of 68 lines of dialogue, not quite enough to fill a novella (ella, ella, eh, eh, eh). Um, anyway, here are all 68 lines.

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THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

Variety is reporting that Ryan Reynolds is in talks to star in Lionsgate-Summit’s Highlander remake. He is also weighing other offers, tantalizing offers such as “trying to make people forget about Green Lantern” and “crying in a corner upon realizing he doesn’t get to see Scarlett Johansson naked anymore”.

As previously reported, the first director (Justin Lin) bailed to make the 500th “Fast and Furious” movie — They’re up to 500 of those movies now, right? GRRR, fact checking! — and they’ve hired Juan Carlos Fresnadillo to direct instead. Neal Moritz and Peter Davis will produce the script penned by Matt Holloway and Art Marcum, the writing team behind Iron Man and Punisher: War Zone.

So, yeah, it seems they really will go through with that Highlander remake. Meh. I’ll watch it as long as they put Ryan Reynolds in the fat suit from Just Friends and make him sing “I Swear” . . .

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Meme Watch: Douchebag Guitarist Is Ready To Tear Up Guitar Center With Some Stairway |UPROXX|

This Arnold Schwarzenegger Remix Is The Best Thing You’ll Listen To Today |Film Drunk|

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Five Awful Actors Who Had One Great Performance |Unreality|

A Bottle Of Jagermeister vs. Shoenice, WHO YA GOT? |GorillaMask|

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Robot Can Use the Microwave, Begun These Hot Pockets Wars Have |Technabob|

5 Actors Who Thought They Were Novelists (And Were Very, Very Wrong) |Pajiba|

20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean |College Humor|

VIDEO BELOW: Clever dog knows how to get the sock puppets off the ceiling fan. |via Arbroath|

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