Funny how the subtitle was also the lie I told myself when I screencapped this.

Below is the trailer (NSFW due to gore and very bouncy nudity) for Red Sword, which Twitch calls “Japanese splatter erotica” and the trailer calls “A story of the 400 year battle between wolf men and virgin girls” and my brain calls “a normal Tuesday”. Also, if you play 1:22 in the video over and over, you’ll probably get fired. But no one would blame you.

The full synopsis is also below, but I’ll sum it up thusly: a society of all-male werewolves rapes human women and forces them to bear male werewolf children, killing any baby girls because of a legend of one of these girls growing up and killing them. One of the girls survives to exact much-justified revenge, and she is, of course, Little Red Riding Hood. They may have taken some liberties with the original Grimm’s Household Tales there.

The film stars pinup girl Momoka Nishina (pictured above), whose bust size was listed in the trailer because they keep it classy. The film also stars Asami, who you may know from movies previously written about here, such as Mutant Girls Squad, Gothic & Lolita Psycho, and a movie adaptation of The Ancient Dogoo Girl. God I love Japan. I want to have, like, forty of its squidbabies.

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Maísa Chaves made four Superhero-themed breast cancer awareness ads for the DDB Mozambique agency with funding from the Associação da Luta Contra o Cancer (ALCC) in Mozambique. The ad features Wonder Woman, She Hulk, Storm, and Catwoman giving themselves breast exams, and feel free to nerd rage out in the comments that Wonder Woman and She Hulk are immune to the illness.

I’m not sure if their faces (save for the pouty mouths) are left out to try to circumvent licensing fees, or if this is just yet another example of female superheroes being objectified. It’s a little bit creepy, and yet I’m compelled to post the pictures after the jump anyway because boobs.

The ads read: “Nobody’s immune to breast cancer. When we talk about breast cancer, there’s no women or superwomen. Everybody has to do the self-examination monthly. Fight with us against the enemy and, when in doubt, talk with your doctor.

Fair enough, DDB Mozambique, now get moving on that testicular cancer awareness ad staring a fondle-happy Batman and Wolverine. And a campaign where Superman gives Aquaman a prostate exam with his X-ray vision. Yeah, that last one might have gone too far, but only because it’s based on the assumption that anyone would care about Aquaman.

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Redditor ropeyhodges posted a highlight reel of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentary for Total Recall, and it is fantastically literal. We also found a compilation of Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Milius on the Conan The Barbarian DVD commentary, and it’s equally hilarious. Imagine John Madden with an Austrian accent giving you a play-by-play of exactly what you just saw five seconds ago, along with the occasional mention of boobs or of Richard Simmons’ gayness. BOOM.

I want to lock Arnold Schwarzenegger and Werner Herzog in a room and make them do DVD commentary on every episode of Friends. Unfortunately, that would be illegal. Man, it’s like I’m always stuck in second gear.

The first video below is NSFW for about a half a second on account of a three-breasted space prostitute, so watch out for that. You don’t want to have to tell job interviewers that you lost your last job because of a three-breasted space hooker. Or maybe you do. Hell, I’d hire you. And brofist with you.  Especially if you’re female.

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I’ll be honest, here: as I get older, one of the things that bugs me about comics are the ridiculous outfits way too many superheroines have to wear.

I mean, it’s gotten better. When I was reading DC in the eighties, there was still plenty of superpowered women in bathing suits and high heels with breasts that can only be described with terms like “knockers” or “gazongas”. Thirty years later…OK, maybe things haven’t changed that much. But at least most superheroines these days are wearing sensible pants.

Anyway, by far the worst offender in this respect has been Emma Frost, whose outfits have just gotten skimpier and skimpier over time. Fortunately, sketch group Nerd Bastards noticed as well. Their perspective on her outfits, and the problems they may cause, under the jump.
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If you’re not a fan of “Liberty Meadows”, you might be a fan of cheesecake, so, either way, the news that Frank Cho has pulled “Liberty Meadows” out of development hell and is back on a publication schedule, with issue #38 coming out later this year, is great news. Especially since issue #37 came out five years ago.

So, what happened? Cho had the typical Hollywood experience of clueless executives, retarded ideas, regime changes, and waffling that pretty much defines the development hell experience. In his own words:

Let’s back track a minute. About 3 years ago, Sony got the rights to Liberty Meadows to develop it as a downloadable original cartoon series for their new Sony Digital division. I wrote the original pilot episode but it was rejected for being too “risque”. So other writers were brought in to tone it down and make it more kid friendly. Once I read the rewrite, I thought it completely missed the point of Liberty Meadows. So I rewrote the rewrite, and this went back and forth couple of times until we reached a compromised script. We turned that script into an traditional 2D animated pilot episode.

Enter Sony Television division. They saw the pilot episode and liked it. Liberty Meadows get bumped up to their television division and a TV series is planned. However there is one request, Sony Television people wanted Liberty Meadows to be more “risque” with adult humor like the “Family Guy”. This is the point where I rip my hair out in frustration. Sony Digital people rejected my original script for that very reason, for being too “risque”.

So I go back and re-polish the original script, adding more scenes to make it longer to fit the television episode time frame. As I’m doing this, a new Sony television contract is being drafted to replace my Sony digital contract. Then the recession hit. Then the three Sony executives who were shepherding this project along since the beginning leave Sony. The new guy who takes over have no interest in projects started by his predecessors. Thus Liberty Meadows TV show goes into limbo… and we wait and wait. Ultimately under the inactivity clause, all the Liberty Meadows rights revert back to me, and concludes my 2 year journey at Sony.

“Liberty Meadows as a Family Guy clone” sounds almost, but not quite, as appealing as being lit on fire, so thank God that’s by the boards. If Brandy said something like “that reminds me of the time I used a pop culture reference to substitute for an actual joke”, it’d prove TV as a medium should be ended.

[ via the rehabbed animals at BleedingCool ]

Last week Conan O’Brien interviewed the Creative Director of Warner Brothers Animation, Peter Gerardi, about DC superheroes who suck. This week they’re back, and Conan brought in his graphic designer Pierre Bernard to pitch “design improvements” for the ladies of DC.  Here there be boobs.

If you’ve been a fan of Conan’s shows for a while, you probably already familiar with Bernard, a graphic designer for Conan as well as his old gigs at Late Night and The Tonight Show. He’s also a pretty big comics fan, as evidenced by the “Recliner of Rage” segments he starred in on Late Night that saw him, and I quote, “furious” over Marvel’s decision to cancel their line of paperback novels about the X-Men and the problems with the Justice League Unlimited action figures. [ComicsAlliance]

So the guy has comic nerd cred, but he also has a perverted streak Conan didn’t seem to know about prior to this segment. Although I will admit, the third redesign is beyond awesome. That one needs to happen.

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