Oddee posted a great list of the ten lamest mockbuster movies. Neatorama noticed that C. Thomas Howell is in three of these.  I’d make a joke about that, but my mamma always taught me not to kick somebody when they’re down, unless they’re Welsh.

A mockbuster is a film, often made with a low budget, created with the apparent intention of piggy-backing on the publicity of a major film with a similar title. These movies have similar names like “Snakes on a Train” –not to be confused with “Snakes on a Plane”– or “Transmorphers”, instead of “Transformers.” They are sometimes released around the same time real larger-budget movies, to make money off their hype and advertising. [Oddee]

The Asylum is one studio behind a lot of these movies, such as Sherlock Holmes (dinosauriffic trailer below), which releases this Friday, one month after Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes.  We’ve replaced the usual Robert Downey Jr. with dinosaurs.  Let’s see if they notice.

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If you thought 1987′s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was the X-Men 3 of Superman movies, you’re more right than you realized*.  Unreality found these two insanely-bad deleted scenes.  How bad?  They turned Bizarro Superman (“Nuclear Man #2″) into a fleshy dude with a spikey mullet who looks like a castmember of Everybody Loves Raymond, or like Larry the Cable Guy back when he was just Dan Whitney.  I’m not intimidated by this Bizarro Superman; I want to sell him a bootleg Member’s Only jacket.  Also watch for Jon Cryer phoning it in (probably while thinking, “I was Duckie, you bastards”) and a fight scene that makes sure you know about Burger King.  And the sound effects.  Holy crap, the sound effects.  Nothing says action flick like a guy noodling on a toy piano while three different CDs of “The 101 Wackiest Sound Effects” play simultaneously in the background.  I haven’t heard a cacophony like this since the last time I kicked a one man band down a hill.

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   3 girls, 87 cats

The “Female Force” biography of “Twilight” creator Stephenie Meyer was released this week, and — judging from the artwork and text — they started writing it last week.  Via comicsalliance:

When you’re doing a biography of Stephenie Meyer, you’re going to run into a problem right off the bat, namely the fact that Stephanie Meyer is really f–king boring. [...] We can sum up her entire life in twenty words. Watch:
“Stephenie Meyer grew up in the Southwest, got married, had kids, wrote some books about vampires and got rich. Batman.”
We threw “Batman” in there to make it more exciting.

They nonetheless wrote a 28-page comic book about her life.  Narrated by Dracula.  The comicsalliance article dissects just how awful it is, but I’d like to hit a few of the key points:

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