Take that, stupid trees, with your production of oxygen and providing of shade. GRRR!

Jörg Sprave of The Slingshot Channel has built a slingshot larger than his machete slingshot, Gatling gun slingshot, 6-shot slingshot, circular saw blade launcher, musket ball crossbow, and zombie decapitator combined. Its a ten-fold larger version of his desktop slingshot cannon. It fires 80 mm (3.15″) steel balls using six full Thera Band Gold stripes on each side; Sprave says this setup is 72 times stronger than a conventional slingshot, which makes him 72 times dreamier than other slingshot makers if you ask me.

This ten-foot-long cannon can fire the steel balls up to 200 meters (220 yards), but, more importantly, he shoots it at a car at close range in the video below because that’s exactly what you do with a homemade cannon. Even if you don’t have permission.

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Jörg Sprave of The Slingshot Channel has built another awesome weapon to add to his collection next to the machete slingshot, the Gatling gun slingshot, the 6-shot slingshot, the slingshot that launches circular saw blades, and the musket ball crossbow.  We’ve been saying for awhile we’re team Sprave when the zombiepocalypse happens, and now he’s given us another reason to hide behind him during a zombie attack.  He’s built a slingshot designed specifically for decapitating zombies and halving watermelons.  THIS IS IMPORTANT.

He calls it the “world’s first handheld guillotine” and adds, “This video is not entirely meant serious, and please, don’t do this at home.”  Yeah, definitely don’t do this at home, especially not the part where he put his own head in it and I almost crapped my pants till I noticed it wasn’t cocked and loaded at the time.  He built this decapitation machine after receiving an “indirect challenge” from zombiehunters.org. If this is how he responds to an indirect challenge I’d like to see what he does about a direct one.  Many watermelons will perish that fateful day.

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We’ve been following Jörg Sprave of The Slingshot Channel‘s work for quite some time.  You may remember him as the smiley German behind the machete slingshot, the Gatling gun slingshot, the 6-shot slingshot, and a slingshot which launches circular saw blades.  We’re totally team Sprave when the zombiepocalypse happens.  The video below shows off his newest build, which shoots 0.75″ wide lead musket balls with 38 foot pounds of energy, achieving speeds of 177 feet per second.  With big, weighty musket balls.  Dayum.

He calls it the “Medieval Style Musket Ball Shooting Slingshot Crossbow”.  I know what you’re thinking: they didn’t have muskets in Medieval Times.  Clearly you didn’t hear about the time the Uproxx Musket Club had dinner at Medieval Times.  And I’m going to tell you what I told the judge: the Black Knight never said we couldn’t take a musket to a joust fight.

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We’ve already covered Jörg Sprave’s other awesomely-safe slingshots, including his machete slingshot, his Gatling gun slingshot, and his 6-shot slingshot.  Now he’s built a slingshot to launch sawblades, because f–k watermelons.  If when there’s a zombie apocalypse, you want this guy on your team.

Circular sawblades are about as dangerous to be shot from a slingshot as it gets. Heavy. Sharp. Unpredictable in flight.
Seems like the perfect challenge for us here at The Slingshot Channel! [YouTube]

He discovered that rotational speed was what he needed to build into his slingshot design.  There’s something unsettling about a guy wielding a deadly weapon while saying with a German accent that he’s found the solution.  My spidey sense is tingling.

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Every day since Osama bin Laden’s death was announced there’s been tons of reports on just how exactly the Navy’s SEAL Team Six took down the guy at his gated compound. Brute force, bravery, dogs and dragons have all been credited with assisting the win, however leave it to the German news to uncork the terrifying reality behind Team Six’s effectiveness: they worked with an anti-Cardassian rebel group from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. USA! USA! USA!

See, last Thursday, German news channel N24 was dissecting Team Six’s participation in Osama bin Laden’s death, when eventually it came time to bring up an image of the elite unit’s logo. As you can tell from the banner picture, the image that N24′s intern dug up looks nothing like the real logo for the team -well except for the red glowing eyed Klingon skull. The logo that the channel ended up broadcasting is actually a fan-made Maquis patch (from here). Come on, we’ve all made one of these on a rainy day, haven’t we?

Both patches, side by side after the jump:
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We wrote about Jörg Sprave of The Slingshot Channel when he made a machete slingshot and a Gatling gun slingshot.  Now he’s built a 6-shot slingshot that is not only more powerful than the Gatling gun slingshot, but also shoots all six 20 mm (0.79″) steel balls at the same time because why not?  It’s called The Avalaunche and it has a 1.3 meter (4.25′) draw length, allowing each ball to hit with 60 Joules of energy.  For comparison, 60 Joules is about one-tenth the energy of a standard-issue police 9mm handgun.  We wouldn’t recommend being shot with either.

Sprave says it takes 40 seconds to reload, and he also says this in the video below:

“So this is probably the most powerful slingshot/crossbow I ever ever made, simply because it fires six balls at the same time, so the energy that lands at the target is enormous.  It’s a fun thing.  Well, that was it for today. Thanks and bye bye.”

Is it wrong that I get scared when someone is being super polite in a German accent?  No, it isn’t.  I don’t ever have to forgive that country for telling David Hasselhoff he could sing.  NEVER FORGET.

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