Check out this sweet zombieblaster. Gang members in China are making custom shotgun revolvers that use standard 12 gauge shotgun shells. This isn’t the first shotgun revolver (”The Judge” holds that distinction), but it may be the only one that fires regular 12 gauge rounds. For some reason, the gang members branded this gun “Made in USA”. Maybe to cover up that it’s drenched in lead paint. Now that would be dangerous.
The street price on one of these in Taiwan is US$7000 to $9000. Which is good, because the monkeys and the chimps and this macaque can’t afford that. But imagine if they could. If you’re having trouble imagining it, here’s a helpful .gif:
This story’s not exactly breaking news, but it is terrifying. Researchers at Iowa State University have observed chimpanzees in Senegal routinely making spears to hunt other vertebrates. It’s the first documented instance of “habitual tool use by non-humans while hunting other vertebrates.” So it isn’t just Campbell’s monkeys who are out to get us.
Chimpanzees forcibly jabbed tools into hollow trunks or branches multiple times and smelled and/or licked them upon extraction. Only two of the 22 reported cases were seen as playful — in the case of an infant male — or exploratory in nature. In all other cases, chimps were judged by the researchers to use
such force in inserting the tool that prey within the tree could have been injured. They witnessed just one case in which a chimpanzee extracted a bushbaby — a smaller primate — through use of the spear. [ScienceDaily]
That bushbaby had a name! Steve. They need to do way to instain monkey* who kill bush babby because these babby cant frigth back.
* I shouldn’t have to explain this joke, but, just in case, here it is (and also here).
Youcan do better!
If you’ve ever watched a movie and thought, “A chimp could make this,” now you have something to compare it to for verification (Scary Movie 4, I have bad news for you). BBC Two will be airing Chimpcam, a compilation of footage shot by chimps at the Edinburgh Zoo.
Ms [Betsy] Herrelko set the chimps two challenges. The first was to teach the chimps how to use a touchscreen to select different videos. By doing so, Ms Herrelko could investigate which types of images chimps prefer to watch. The second challenge was to give the apes a “Chimpcam”, a recording camera housed in a chimp-proof box. On top of the box was a video screen that showed live images of whatever the camera was pointing at. [BBC via Geekologie]
There’s a youtube video below with a few clips, and one of the always-astute youtube commenters dropped some science for us plebs to digest:
25 best memes of 2009. Joseph Ducreux entreats that you raise your hands into the air and flail them about as if there were no repurcussions. [HolyTaco]
Twilight is the most entertaining trainwreck of 2009, and here’s why. [Filmdrunk]
This guy has an awesome name. [ProbablyBadNews]
The end of free network TV is nigh. [WarmingGlow]
Great paper-cut art by Peter Callesen. [ASingleSheetOfPaper]
This is my new desktop background. [imgur]
VIDEO BELOW: Zookeepers at the Bronx Zoo gave the squirrel monkeys a special holiday treat they had never had before: Jell-O with blueberries. [Buzzfeed]
Don’t try to win me over with bacon, monkey. I’m on to you.
A team of crack researchers (as opposed to researchers on crack; that’s us) led by Klaus Zuberbühler of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland claim to have discovered a language and syntax used by the Campbell’s monkeys of Ivory Coast. If true, this is the first time a species besides humans has been shown to form complete sentences.
Campbell’s monkeys have six different types of individual calls, each of which has a distinct meaning. What’s surprising, however, is that these monkeys actually string together multiple types of calls to create communications with entirely new meanings. [...] The team has identified the meanings of the individual calls, as well as how they can be combined to form completely different communications:
The “boom-boom” call invites other monkeys to come toward the male making the sound. Two booms can be combined with a series of “krak-oos,” with a meaning entirely different to that of either of its components. “Boom boom krak-oo krak-oo krak-oo” is the monkey’s version of “Timber!” – it warns of falling trees.
Combining the “boom-booms” and “krak-oos” with a third sound, “hok-oo,” warns monkeys of the presence of other monkey groups. [io9]
Zuberbühler’s team was only saved from monkey destruction by one thing: the monkeys couldn’t figure out how to tell each other to “get Zuberbühler”. They pointed and said, “Hey, kill that guy” in their monkey syntax, but there was a mixup and they thought “that guy” was the monkey standing next to him. Steve. Steve the monkey. He’ll be missed.
[Banner pic via thefrogman]
These are gorillas, you say? Fool, you call me? En garde.
The Times published a serious article about inhibiting the action of myostatin to allow muscles to continue growing in people with degenerative muscle diseases. Then i09 wisely picked up on the most important part of the article and ran it under the headline Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys. Well played, chaps.
They decided to test whether artificially introducing follistatin to the body would lead to an increase in strength and muscle mass. Using a common cold virus as a carrier, the researchers injected the follistatin gene into the thigh muscles of six macaque monkeys. The monkeys’ thigh muscles grew an average of 15 percent as a result of the treatment, and one monkey experienced an incredible 78 percent increase in strength. The researchers reported in Science Translational Medicine that, after 15 months, the increases remained and that the monkeys experienced no visible side effects. The researchers hope to start clinical trials on humans next year, with an eye toward helping people with degenerative muscular diseases. But for healthy individuals looking to increase their strength, the treatment would come at a cost: immunosuppressant drugs [Ed.- insert "Hitman monkey with AIDS" joke . . . here.] are a necessary component of the therapy. [i09]
Yeah, sure, eventually this could lead to a treatment for Jerry’s Kids, but let’s not lose sight of a more immediate benefit, supermonkey swordfights:
