Play With Leather Free Fantasy Football With Draftstreet And Win $250 For Week 6 |With Leather|

Rihanna’s Reveals “Talk That Talk” Album Cover, Becomes “Sexiest Woman Alive” |Smoking Section|

The 10 Most Disgusting Meals in Cinematic History |UPROXX|

‘Straight Outta Dunwoody’ Is The Hardest ‘Straight Outta Compton’ Parody To Ever Come Out Of Suburban Atlanta |UPROXX|

New ‘Justified’ Villains Cast! |Warming Glow|

JCVD & Hilary Swank: ‘Sorry for Partying’ |Film Drunk|

Reddit’s Jailbait Message Board Shut Down For Good, It Seems |UPROXX|

Jaleel White to Host Syfy Game Show |Warming Glow|

The Best And (Mostly) Worst Of WWE Raw 10/10 |With Leather|

Gang tries to kidnap Saddam look-alike to make porn |Film Drunk|

WTF, Japan? |GorillaMask|

Most Likely the Nerdiest Tattoo on the Planet |Unreality|

Wishlist: 12 Nominations for Future ‘30 for 30’-Style ESPN Documentaries |Brobible|

Star Wars Movie Poster Photoshop Contest Gets Strange but Funny Results |Technabob|

Fun with Penis Confusion: Comparing Alison Brie’s Cleavage to Joel McHale’s Buttcrack |Pajiba|

TV chef claims eating puppy meat is no worse than pork, and also likely to fetch more in the market |FARK|

Johnny Depp Probably Isn’t in ‘Hugo,’ and 6 Other Revelations from the Secret NYFF Screening |Moviefone|

10 Gimmick Characters that Made Pro Wrestling Even More Ridiculous Than It Already Is |Smoking Jacket|

VIDEO BELOW: “Milou the baby chimp living at Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center, in Cameroon, likes to spin.” — BioTV

[Inset picture via CuteStuff.]

Gel-ink pens aren’t just for drawing nyan cat on black construction paper anymore (not that I’m going to stop now).  Jennifer Lewis and Jennifer Bernhard at the University of Illinois have designed an ink pen which contains real silver able to create a closed circuit on any surface you can draw on, including flexible surfaces.  In lab testing using paper as the flexible surface, they had to bend the paper back and forth about 6,000 times before the dried silver ink flaked and cracked too much to carry a current.

To demonstrate their pen-and-paper approach, the researchers drew a copy of a Chinese landscape painting with the pen and affixed an LED to the peak of a house’s roof. Once the silver lines were connected to a battery at the edge of the page, the LED lit up. And by drawing interconnections between LEDs arranged in a grid on a sheet of paper and hooking them up to a battery, they created several glowing block letters. They even built a 3D antenna by drawing lines on a piece of sticky-backed printer paper that they folded around a glass ball. [DiscoBlog]

I’m almost certain pens like this have been made before, although I’ve never heard of them being used with LEDs or to make antennas. Another great application for these pens?  Fixing important electronics on the fly when the primates rise and take up arms against us.  Oh, it’ll happen. Don’t believe me?  Well then how do you explain this?

SEE?

[Sources: DiscoBlog, Wired, NewScientist, RoboShark]

This cat is cool like snakes.

Do We Really Believe CEOs Anymore?  Did we ever? [UproxxNews]

100 Of The Most Ridiculous Yahoo! Answers Posts [Uproxx]

I like my soccer players like I like my Eddie Izzard references. COVERED IN BEES. [WithLeather]

The Essential Parry Gripp Collection [Filmdrunk]

Grossest news story in a while right here [WarmingGlow]

The Dugout: Goofus and Gallant [WithLeather]

Chick-fil-A Campaign Takes Decidedly Ominous Turn [KSK]

Hard Ticket to Hawaii for Six Bucks. [Filmdrunk]

20 Animals Wearing Shoes  [Buzzfeed]

Advice Meme Joke Formulas Made Easy [Urlesque]

Pop Songs Made Creepy by the Movies [Moviefone]

100 Stupid-Hot Suicide Girl Photos [CoedMag]

“Beer Wars Review: Why We Drink Piss” Because you’re Bear Grylls? [Pajiba]

They’d gotten undergraduate degrees; why couldn’t they write in sentences? [Fark]

If Childhood Participation Trophies Were Less Sensitive [CollegeHumor]

VIDEO BELOW: Helpful dog gives his cute friend a pushstart. [via HYST]

Corgi Snub! In-Depth Analysis of the 2011 Puppy Bowl Lineup [WarmingGlow]

Rutger Hauer assaults audience with shotgun, Flipcam (with video) [Filmdrunk]

Video: Kanye’s “All Of The Lights” In Orchestra [TSS]

Packers Fan Fired For Zero Judgment [WithLeather]

A Look At The First MMO’s Of 2011 [G4TV]

56 Extreme Drunken Shamings [CoedMag]

Ted Williams: Human Hollywood Metaphor [Pajiba]

Shiba Inu Perplexed By iPhone [Buzzfeed]

Talking “Sheeeit” with The Wire’s Isiah Whitlock. [Filmdrunk]

‘Fight the Foot’ — Ninja Turtles Fan Film [Moviefone]

A tender, Avatar-inspired ballad about blue alien rabbits and their creepy ponytail genitals. [AdultSwim]

So this happened: Betty White Reprimands Sharon Osbourne for Scaring a Spider Monkey (VIDEO) [TVSquad]

VIDEO BELOW: “So many monkeys.”  Dude, check your pockets. [via BoingBoing]

Researchers at the University of Chicago, who have obviously never seen a single horror movie in their entire lives, have hooked up some monkeys to exoskeletons. We’re doomed! Doooooooomed! Oh, wait, they don’t have missile launchers? Never mind then.

These robomonkeys were put together to create brain-controlled exoskeletons for people with nerve damage, spinal damage, and other fun injuries. They’re designed to be completely thought-controlled, just like the limbs they’re encasing, and can even offer sensory feedback (i.e. touch).

So, yeah, this is awesome. Until they install those missile launchers.

[ via the robomonkeys at io9 ]

You leave my octopus out of this, sir!

Why Video Games Aren’t Art…Yet [Uproxx]

Does Nintendo Hate Your Children? [UproxxNews]

Goodnight, funnyman [Filmdrunk]

Japan has an awesome name for The Jersey Shore [WarmingGlow]

Monkeys will save the Commonwealth Games [WithLeather]

More LOLNFL captioned photos [KissingSuzyKolber]

Going Out With A Bang: Halo Reach Review [TSS]

Tony Curtis has died. [NPR]

8 Hard Facts About Dating a Cosplayer [UGO]

Incredibly Intricate LEGO Busts [EgoTV]

Seven Terrifying Female Gangsters [TheSmokingJacket]

Professional Japanese Slow-Motion Walking [Uncoached]

“Is Avatar Tattoo Guy Finally Done?” With tattoos? Or breeding?  I’m hoping both. [Unreality]

VIDEO BELOW: LOOK AT THIS FRICKIN’ CAT!  Every time I do it makes me laugh. He really doesn’t like Nickelback. Can’t say I don’t agree with that. [via Buzzfeed]

[Pictures via EpicPonyz and fivewordsorless.]

This morning DailyMail posted an article on how we’ve been underestimating the intelligence of many animals.  Considering the chimpanzees in Senegal who were using spears, the monkeys in Japan who catapulted their way to freedom, and the Bonobo chimps who play Ms. Pac-Man, we’re inclined to agree.  Speaking of video game playing primates, the picture above is of a gorilla at the San Francisco Zoo trying to figure out a Nintendo DSi XL.

Christina Spicuzza was watching the gorillas when a boy dropped his game machine into the gorilla enclosure. A gorilla named Bawang was quick to snatch up the device. [Arbroath]

The videos below show them trying to figure out the new toy.  Okay, so it’s not as impressive as a bonobo who can actually play Ms. Pac-Man, but I’m easily amused. Anyone who has a problem with that can suck macaque. What? It’s not a macaque? It’s a gorilla? Um . . . then they can suck my, uh, Barilla.  Like the pasta, you know, a noodle.  I’ll just go.

The Unoffical NBA JAM All-Star Team [Uproxx]

20,000 Calories Of Real American News [Uproxx News]

From the Vault: Hartman and Farley Host a Live Call-in Show [WarmingGlow]

The Other Guys closing credit sequence [Filmdrunk]

The 10 Best Sports Fights Ever [BleacherReport]

Speaking of sports fights, here’s a video of the Reds-Cardinals brawl [WithLeather]

How to skip commercials on YouTube videos [LifeHacker]

The 7 greatest Internet hoaxes [Guyism]

10 Best Movie Parodies On Adult Swim [Adult Swim]

The Pixelized Pitch That Sold ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World: The Game’ (Exclusive Video) [ComicsAlliance]

“Congrats to Mike Monteiro who finally beat Gmail, the only way possible, by running out of storage.” [Buzzfeed]

7 Things You Buy Before Freshman Year Of College [CollegeHumor]

VIDEO BELOW: Trailer for “NTSF:SD:SUV”, the best show not yet on TV.  Full title: National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle.  Terrorists, you’ve been warned. [via EpicPonyz]

“This is my rifle.  There are many like it, but this one is mine.” (Did that monkey just talk?)

The rumor about the Taliban training monkeys to kill anyone “wearing U.S. military uniforms” is a hoax started by the official paper of the Communist Party of China.  It didn’t take long for NMA to make an “action news” animation for Apple Daily, the website of Taiwan’s most widely read paper.  They’ve made similar animations for the Tiger Woods and Al Gore scandals.  Just don’t tell them this story is fake, because these animations are too much fun.

Military rumor investigator Jeff Schogol got in touch with a named NATO spokesman, who said that “We have absolutely nothing that leads us to believe that this tale could be even remotely based in reality.” A primatologist pointed out to him that the picture appears to depict an African baboon and not one of the rhesus monkeys which actually live in central Asia, that you probably couldn’t train a monkey to steadily hold a weapon, and that the sound of the gunfire would “certainly scare most animals and make them stop.” Oh, also: It turns out the gun in the photo is a toy. [Geekosystem]

The video is below, and it’s everything I dreamed it could be.

Fifteen monkeys escaped from the prestigious research center at Kyoto University in Japan, where around eighty monkeys in total are observed to study primate behavior and social interaction.  The researchers were at first puzzled how the monkeys could get over a seventeen foot high electric fence when all the trees near it are trimmed to about six feet high and are all six to nine feet from the fence.

The fifteen monkeys stretched the short tree branches enough to catapult themselves, one at a time, over the seventeen foot electric fence and land safely, ’cause monkeys are awesome.

However, despite the intelligence shown in their great escape, the primates appeared unsure as to what to do with their newfound freedom: the monkeys remained by the gates of the research centre and were lured back into captivity by scientists armed with peanuts. [Telegraph]

Thwarted by delicious peanuts!  The researchers have cut the trees by the fence even shorter now, so the monkeys will just have to come up with another ingenious plan to achieve temporary flight and get free peanuts (might I suggest buying an airline ticket?).

And since it’s Japan, I’ll bet this is part of the “behavior” research they were doing there:

[Video via HYST; Story via Telegraph, JapanTimes, and TheFirstPost]