Time to breathe a sigh of relief fans of people going splatter in outer space — it’s finally confirmed that Prometheus will be R-rated. Ridley Scott filmed both a PG-13 and R version of the movie, and for months Scott and FOX have been vague about which version we were going to get to see in theatres, but with the release of the movie only a month away, it seems as though the decision to go with the R cut has finally, thankfully, been made.

According to FOX the R-rating comes as a result of “sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language.” So no, sadly no Charlize or Noomi boobs, or Fasspenis. Come on guys, if you’re going R anyways, take advantage of it.

Before I end this story, a note to all you teenagers out there — grow your best high school beard, grab your fake ID and go see Prometheus. R-rated blockbusters can only succeed if the kids who are only supposed to be watching the PG-13 movies sneak in. Make us proud.

via The Film Stage

“Star Trek II” is one of my favorite movies, ever. And I’m a pathetic film nerd: it’s on a list with “Bronson”, “That Obscure Object of Desire” and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”. So, the idea of J.J. Abrams getting his greasy mitts on Nicholas Meyer’s damn near perfect film filled me with rage.

And then I discovered that the movie wouldn’t be a rehash of “Space Seed”. And it’s certainly not going to be a repeat of “The Wrath of Khan”, because Khan has nothing to be angry about yet.

So basically, they’re just slapping Khan’s name onto a generic villain. Does this bother me, as a man who has seen “Star Trek II” so many times I can repeat the dialogue word for word? Yeah. In fact, going straight to Khan in the second movie illustrates, I think, a lot about what’s wrong with Hollywood in general and Paramount’s handling of the “Star Trek” franchise in particular.

But as long as they don’t take a big fat dump on the movie that saved the entire franchise’s bacon, well, I can deal, I guess.

But I still want to know why the Beastie Boys never released “Intergalactic” in the Abrams timeline.

image courtesy Paramount

James Cameron has long been one of the loudest/most obnoxious pro-3D voices in Hollywood, but now he’s going a step further and insisting everything be filmed in 5D. It’s not quite as exciting as it sounds unfortunately — 5D refers to cameras that shoot both 2D and 3D footage simultaneously.

Currently 2D and 3D footage has to be shot on two different cameras, and since people still watch most stuff in 2D, the 2D cameras get preferential treatment. So for instance, at a live sporting event all the best angles are covered by 2D instead of 3D cameras. Combining the two with 5D cameras would solve this issue. It would also probably give James Cameron a boner, because seriously, this guy cares way too much about making sure we all watch as much 3D as humanly possible.

In movie news, Cameron has also revealed plans to reaaaaallly stretch out that old Fern Gully script he bought off Ebay, by making a whopping four Avatar movies. In the past Cameron has said he wanted to make three Avatar movies, but it seems as though a mere trilogy won’t be enough to contain all of Cameron’s ponytail sex and robot knife-fight plans. Oh, and also he wants to keep making dull deep sea diving documentaries and possibly visit Mars, because he’s James Cameron so who’s going to stop him?

via Wired Underwire & The Playlist

James Cameron via Shutterstock

Courtesy of Edgar Wright’s Twitter feed, we get this email.

So, we guess Disney was sitting on it until “The Avengers” was a hit? That was kind of crappy, Disney. Now pay the man whatever he wants and let’s do this thing.

Sam Raimi is suing to keep somebody from producing a new Evil Dead movie. Wait a minute — isn’t Sam Raimi himself producing a new Evil Dead movie? Yup, in fact his remake of The Evil Dead starring Jane Levy (the girl to the right) just began filming. The film Raimi is suing to prevent is the entirely unrelated Evil Dead 4: Consequences, which is being produced by a company called Award Pictures.

So wait, how did this unknown production company get the rights to the Evil Dead franchise? Uh, well, they didn’t. See, around a decade ago somebody at Award Pictures read a Raimi interview in which he said there’d “never be a sequel” to Army of Darkness, which signified to Award Pictures that Raimi had abandoned the Evil Dead copyright, freeing them to make their own sequel. It’s the same logic that makes it totally alright to steal bikes and garden supplies so long as people are just leaving them unused in their backyard. Wait, that isn’t alright? Hmm, somebody better tell Award Pictures. Also, I have some things to return.

Raimi is a wealthy, influential man, so it’s likely he’ll win his lawsuit. The only thing Award Pictures’ shenanigans will result in is more annoying vagueness and double-speak in interviews with movie directors and producers. Nobody is going to outright admit a film series is finished anymore lest another Award Pictures crawls out of the woodwork to try to claim it. Once again the legal system boldly strikes a blow against honesty.

via The Hollywood Reporter

Jane Levy via Shutterstock

Hey, sick of hearing about “The Avengers”? Let’s talk about the movie it’s going to spank like a schoolgirl next weekend, and how against all odds it might not suck.

Back when the first trailer came out, “Dark Shadows” came off a lot like a mid-budget studio comedy crapfest in the vein of “The Stepford Wives”, Hollywood scraping the bottom of every last IP barrel it could find before it was reduced to rebooting box office disappointments less than a decade old. If Dan Curtis were alive and saw the trailer, he probably would have called Tim Burton a no-talent son of a bitch.

But apparently fans have been seeing previews and it’s actually…good?

For example, Derek Flint, a longtime reviewer over at AICN, had this to say:

…Depp’s reaction to his undead fate is literally harrowing. Being a vampire proves worse than death, made all the more impactful by being buried alive. Burton’s use of Gothic imageries combined with Danny Elfman’s majestic score makes this prologue feel like a true Hammer classic.

Flash forward two centuries later and Barnabas emerges from his crypt into the same environment, but now in the year 1972. By not updating this tale to our present day and setting it against the same era as the original series, Burton and the screenwriter make a cagey move that spares us topical references that ruin most updates.

Another AICN reviewer has this to say:

Now this film wasn’t quite the gothic horror movie I was expecting, even though Burton brings that kind of creepy atmosphere to it. It’s more of a horror comedy, closer in tone to “Beetlejuice” or “The Addams Family,” only a little sexier and with implied violence. There are the usual ‘fish out of water’ moments as Barnabus tries to wrap his head around the modern world of the 1970′s. At one point he mistakenly believes his 15-year old niece is a prostitute because of her skimpy outfits and later attacks a television set showing a performance by The Carpenters (most things he can’t understand he interprets as Satan). Depp makes those moments work wonderfully because he plays Barnabas with such earnestness that you can’t help but like the guy, even when he’s kind of an @$$hole (he does kill several people).

You know, that whole “kills several people” thing is really what gets our attention. This movie looked like it didn’t have the fangs for that level of violence.

And TVTropes is at it as well, with a page started by people who’ve apparently seen previews and liked it, at least enough to keep up the “Beetlejuice” comparisons.

None of this matters: this gets curbstomped by “The Avengers” next week. But it’ll be nice if this movie doesn’t totally suck.