“Real Steel” looks kind of ridiculous. In fact it looks incredibly ridiculous. This means I’m going to go see it, because either it will be surprisingly good (doubtful) or it will be an unintentionally hilarious cheesefest (far more likely). To Dreamworks, this means it’s going to be hugely beloved and be a massive hit.

Yeah, honestly, we doubt it. Apparently the movie, according to esteemed Hollywood hack Shawn Levy, is testing extremely well, with audiences cheering as Hugh Jackman does interpretive fight-dance with a robot imitating him, just like Richard Matheson intended. Since the response has been so great, they’re already working on the sequel, with the entire cast signed to come back and Levy back behind the camera.

No word on the interpretive dance robots, though.

[ via the reel aluminum at IndieWire ]

When people train real robots to box, we take exception to it.  The last thing we need are robots who can block a punch and counter with an uppercut.  When Hugh Jackman teaches robots to box to do “one thing right” for his estranged son, however, it could make for an awesome movie.  Or a ridiculous movie.  Or an awesomely ridiculous movie.  Hmm, what will it be?  Let’s read some of this trailer’s dialogue:

As a boxer, Charlie was a top contender, number two in the world.  Then, the fight game changed.  [Ed.- BOOM.  GAME CHANGED.  We didn't even know James Cameron existed in this alternate reality.]

I’m either coming with you, or you’re fishing for your keys in the sewer. [Ed.- Yes, this is how Hugh Jackman's kid hitches a ride with him, as opposed to getting a beating and sent to his mom after he hands over the keys.]

This ain’t a video game.  This is for real.

Let’s make some money!  [Ed.- This was also the closing cheer at the studio meeting when the movie was greenlit.]

No no no!

POW!

As much as I like you, dude, you’re a bad bet, brother. [Ed. - OMG, adversity!  And a black friend!]

Give it up, Charlie.  You got nothin’ left.  [Ed. - I give up on transcribing this dialogue, and I'm only half way through.]

. . . Well, let’s hope the robot punching is at least fun to watch.

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Somebody heard our complaints about not enough robot fighting in that Transformers teaser this morning and released a (probably bootleg) teaser for Real Steel chock full o’ robot punching.  Yes, the movie based on the old Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot toys is really happening, and it might even be fun to watch.

The film is a boxing drama set in the near-future where 2,000-pound robots that look like humans do battle. But more specifically, the film is also about a father-son (Dakota Goyo playing the kid) team training an unusual robot to win a boxing championship after Jackman’s fall from glory as an actual human boxer. The film also stars Anthony Mackie, Evangeline Lilly, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, James Rebhorn and our new collective crush, Olga Fonda. [ThePlaylist]

Check out the video below to see Hugh Jackman with a 5 o’clock shadow, wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses, and grunting “Bring it!”  I don’t know, you should add a motorcycle.  Just to be sure.  Also, when he yells “Let’s make some money!” I’m pretty sure he was just talking to his agent.

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    Down goes Frazbot! Down goes Frazbot!

DreamWorks and director Shawn Levy still haven’t found the right actor to play Hugh Jackman’s son in Real Steel, a movie about robots boxing in the future (really).  They’ve started an open casting call for boys aged 10 to 14, and gave away what appears to be the entire story arc of the movie:

[Max is] 10-14 years old. He’s a street-smart, tough, charming kid with a hard, untrusting outer shell which hides a warm enthusiastic spirit. [Ed.- I bet he can breakdance like mad crazy, yo.]  A complicated, strong-willed and resourceful boy, Max is the product of a broken home, and he becomes the focus of a child custody hearing following the untimely death of his mother. [Ed.- Hollywood Rule #26: every child has to have at least one dead parent.] Though his wealthy aunt and uncle would like full custody, his absentee father (Charlie, a downcast former boxer-turned-trainer of ‘boxing robots’) makes a side deal with the uncle to look after Max for several months in exchange for much needed cash. Max hits the road with his reluctant dad and uses his computer skills and ingenuity to create a series of boxing robots that perform well enough to get them back on track and, ultimately, lead to a bond between father and son that is unshakeable and enduring. [realsteelcasting via SciFiWire]

We could all learn a valuable lesson from this, namely, make your relatives bribe you to raise your own children.  Also, plucky little kids can build robots better than adults with advanced degrees and decades of experience can.  If your kids aren’t building a sentient, talking robot schnauzer in your living room right now, there must be something wrong with them.  You should sell them or something.

I asked Hugh Jackman how a boxer would acquire the computer programming skills to “train” a robot, but I don’t think he understood the question:

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