Sure, we all make fun of motion gaming, partially because it’s required in the Hardcore Gamer Bylaws, along with reading Penny Arcade, mocking Tim Buckley, and owning at least one old console that you insist is the best gaming machine ever invented. But we soon may have to revise the bylaws, thanks to an industrious hackers.

Demize2010, as he’s known, has used open source tools to hack together a Wiimote and a Kinect to play FPS games on his PC. The Kinect handles movement such as leaning to the side, ducking, and jumping, while the Wiimote allows for aiming and the nunchunk handles moving around in physical space. It’s an impressive and seemingly immersive way of playing games, and you can get a taste of how it looks on the next slide.

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If there are two things that people have desperately wanted to go together, and just never have, it’s video games and sex. Whether it’s Lara Croft’s stonking great feminine attributes, getting a nice cup of Hot Coffee in “San Andreas”, or just any of the terrifying fan art you can find if you make the mistake of Googling “Sexy Princess Peach” (example shown at right), video games and sex just don’t fit together that well.

And now, we’ve got the worst idea since “Rez” included a “trance vibrator” in a Special Edition under the cut. Unsurprisingly, it involves the Wii.

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Researchers at Ithaca College’s “Tots on Bots” program have connected a Wii Fit balance board and a baby seat to a motorized chair to give children with mobility problems a means to get around and to mistakenly believe they have awesome telekinetic powers.  Can you imagine how disappointing a regular baby seat at the dinner table must be after riding in this pimped-out Nintendo wheelchair?

The kid steers the chair by leaning in the direction they want to move.  It has sonar built in to keep it from hitting obstacles, and there’s a separate remote control for an adult to steer the chair if the kid tries to go somewhere they shouldn’t.  Or if the adult wants to race their robot child against someone else’s robot child.  Tots on Bots. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY.  You’ll pay for the whole Wii Fit, but you’ll only lean on the edge.

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Behold, one of the first screenshots from “Zelda: Skyward Swords”, and some sexy, sexy elf action.

I’ll cheerfully grant that Zelda has been the same formula with minor tweaks pretty much since around “Ocarina of Time”, with the exception of the daring and sadly not as successful “Majorca’s Mask”, but this is pretty firmly in “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” territory. The Zelda games are always a good old-fashioned dungeon crawl, and this one looks to be no exception. And that beetle thing is a lot more awesome than that stupid Spinner “Twilight Princess” had, so that’s a plus.

Of course, as all true Zelda fans know, it’s not the gameplay true Zelda fans nitpick, bitch and whine over: it’s the art style. Say it with me now: “MORE LIKE CEL-DA AMIRITE?!” This time around, it looks like the art style is a cross between “Wind Waker”‘s cel-shading and “Twilight Princess”‘s realism.

But why bother reading about it when you can see it in action? Video under the jump:

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No sooner does some company come out with the “Wiings” to humiliate and embarrass Wii owners than another company decides to one-up them in the stupidity stakes with…an inflatable race car.

Seriously, those Wii wings? They came to light last week and there’s already a lower place you can go in the failure pile that is Wii peripherals. Last week, people. We can’t wait for next week, when we’ve got little doubt that some even more awful piece of cheap plastic crap is waiting to drive everyone insane. And what really scares us is there’s some guy, out there, collecting all of this stuff. You know he is. He’s the guy who dreams of a five-second spot on the news because of his “wacky collection”, laboring under the wrongheaded impression that being on TV will get him closer to touching boob.

Anyway, there’s a video of a mannequin and a douche trying to sell Wii owners on this. We include it not because it’s funny, but because you’ve never seen the fires of life die so quickly in the eyes of a model.

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Karen should have really followed her dream to become a stripper. Now look at her.

Once upon a time, I used to play the Nintendo Wii. Then, after that b-tch machine took away a perfect bowling score from me in the last frame of my final turkey, I vowed never to touch it ever again. My point being that NOTHING will ever bring me back to play the Wii…nothing except for maybe a pair of cheap, ghetto wings that I can strap on and play a game with. Insert the insane electronic accessories from company CTA Digital (responsible for the Wii bowling ball and rowing machine), who most recently unveiled their latest fart bomb: Wii Wings. *facepalm*

Via EscapistMagazine:

According to CTA, Wii Wings will “help you to truly experience what its like to be a bird.”

They’ll also “add a sensation that you will not feel mimicking a flying chicken with your hands alone,” and reportedly “take your flying experience to another level.” Wii Wings tout features such as “finger loops” and “Velcro closers at wrist.” Don’t forget to follow CTA’s instructions while using Wii Wings either:

1. Slide fingers into finger slots
2. Secure wrist strap
3. Flap your wings and fly

I’m a little perplexed as to why they’d forget to mention the most obvious instruction, 4. Fulfill your life’s ambition to someday look like the biggest doucher of all time. To make matters even more embarrassing, the Wii Wings are designed for use with only one specific Wii Fit mini game, meaning that if you find yourself enjoying your wings for longer than a half hour, then you are surely under the influence of some really powerful medication.

Special thanks to engadget for the tip.